Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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