I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
