it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
