Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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