do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
