: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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