All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
