Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
