can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I bet he comes in French.
You can't motorboat a personality
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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