I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
