dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
