quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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