I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
