my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
