it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
