Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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