hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
