this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
