you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
