Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
