9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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