your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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