I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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