i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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