he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
