Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
