Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize