hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize