Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
