Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
