there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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