As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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