Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
