Got a toothbrush?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize