I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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