on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize