i think my tv is drunk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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