3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
