Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
