I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
