glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
