so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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