I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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