i don't like sucking hair
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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