so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
