she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
