don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
