Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
