He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sobbing to NWA
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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