the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
