do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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