I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
