even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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