just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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