ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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