goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
