The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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