I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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