After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
