My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This is my gift to your gina
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
