It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
