Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I love having hate sex.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize