..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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