she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
