i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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