I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
