its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize