I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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