Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
