It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
