sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
