also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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