absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
