We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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