is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
