Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
