Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
