how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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